I haven’t been sleeping very much lately and that’s both my choice and fault.
I recently stopped smoking weed and it has triggered me into sleepless nights of never-ending thinking. Insomnia enters my life. But it comes as a blessing, as well because I find myself getting my best ideas and inspiration late at night. I think usually about the future and what the possibilities of what I can do and the person I ultimately want to become and strive to be. Molding myself into a queen, a goddess. I don’t let my ego get the better of me, yet I do try to be my own best friend and therefore my own cheerleader and coach.
Over the past year or so I’ve come to realize that you only have yourself to blame for or depend on for happiness. As my mother liked to phrase it, “placing all your eggs into one basket.” She had a point though, and it seems to me that when you depend on something or someone to make you happy it can really destroy you. I learned the hard way when I gave my all to my relationship and lost my identity along the way.
Words by Lindsey Monahan
Photography: Lauren Engel