Written by Vanessa Matic
Photo Austin Roque
When people are sleeping around do they ever think of friendships and if there’s any at all? And why are you sleeping with someone who wouldn’t care if you’re dead or alive? Like imagine times you’re alone and really have no one, and you get sad and you think bout the people you’ve met, people you’ve kissed, people you’ve slept with and than how many of those lovers or sorta friends can one really depend on? Is it not better to be lonely and knowing you never shared yourself with them or lonely knowing that those who you shared with wouldn’t even care how you feel at this very moment? So why not for sometime allow oneself to cleanse of bad energies, breath the flowers, have time to read, paint, write poetry, and be a good friend because those are rare. The confusion of self and the extended self that lives in images or heads and hearts of others, a lot of our life now is lived that way.. Wether we like it or not most of us agreed with this game, and that’s fine apart from games there’s life.. Yet where do we stop our boundaries? We almost play parts of what people expect us to be, but if a human contains multitudes don’t let that one side of you be the only side you show to others, especially if you want to get the terrible things out of your life and are failing because you are repeating patterns. Sure we are sexual creatures I don’t care if you’re Virgin Mary you got a pussy and I don’t care if you’re Jesus.. and than there’s Satan and his little devils that’s cool too. But for real! We are all sexual creatures but the connections we share should not be spread out like a plague till it all becomes meaningless? Maybe I’m old fashioned but I still believe there’s so much romance, so much poetry, so much beauty delicately unmistakeable to deserve effort, to deserve LOVE. And some of you out there really have no one, some of us are very alone, even when we have shared ourselves not just sexually but emotionally. EMOTIONALLY! You know that cheesy saying be treated as you wish to be, well how bout it? Even to the guys that know a good girl can let you in her pants because you’ve behaved good enough for her to care. Or girls why, why let yourself down for a mere “you’re a babe, hey beautiful or a little heart emoji lol”. If that’s the desire then ok, but often we all know it’s not.. we long for another companionship to talk, laugh, travel, live, love.. Guys get so butt hurt when they get treated poorly and the karma cycle continues. And I live in a circle where all my friends are obsessed with fame, regardless of what they say.. They care, if someone is a model or slaves to the industry paying off their depths for just being in an agency “SMH”, than they care if they can get a job by ass kissing, they lie constantly bout job offerings too just as they lie about love, but trust me not all of them are terrible people, they’re actually quite sweet too. Yet it doesn’t change the fact many people are miserable, miserable from themselves and their loved ones battling a game that they don’t even know what it is.. It’s like Star Wars of Ass kissing competition and the games are on every day. It’s quite adorable, I mean at times. But what do we teach our new generation.. I don’t know? I feel like I should raise my future baby in a forest with no technology and manners better than the president! Especially now people are swiping their lives away, instagram.. tinder.. raya… whatever. And when we think we have one another you see these happy looking couples and people still liking and searching and liking others. I don’t think it makes us all positive, we are confused as is. Not to mention to see other things that interfere like social media “eye roll” I use to follow zero people including friends because I was sad to watch them all horny for someone else and I also didn’t want to like anyone’s anything.. And when I was engaged I was a total angel(not everyone is) but who cares I mean really “Do what thou wilt” as long as you’re honest bout it and not hiding your true nature. And than with all that the world is fkkd, do you see where we’re at with politics it’s a popcorn comedy. I dont even want to go into the whores dressing and undressing POLITICS ramble. We all know they “dress it up to make it real for you” then dress it down when necessary. This rant is best put into one of my favorite lines, from one of my favorite movies, “The whole world is wild at heart and weird on top” GOD BLESS AMERICA god bless the world because I kinda love you.
