“Beauty starts when you stop focusing on the outside, and instead focus on making yourself beautiful from within and making your intentions and your thoughts beautiful.” When Desiree Yuzon says that you can feel each word of it, and you can feel that it´s not just words to her. Since having overcome breast cancer this was her very first full set shooting photographed by Thomas R. Wood that we are more than happy to present here today. Talking to her about how the relationship to her own body and her view on life have changed have left us thoughtfully and stoked.
This was your first full set after making it through the breast cancer illness that you were fighting. How do you feel when you look at this set?
Honestly, I was a little shocked at how good they came out considering I hadn’t modeled in over a year and Thomas and I hadn’t seen each other for quite some time. Before the shoot I was a little worried the chemistry might have been off or I would be very self-conscious, but I couldn’t have had a better photographer and friend to shoot this with other than Thomas. He has always inspired and challenged me to be a better model in so many ways, that I think this set truly captures our energy together. We wanted to do something very natural and simple, yet confident and daring. And I think we accomplished that!
Obviously when you get such a diagnosis, especially at such a young age, that must be devastating. How did you find out about it, was it during a normal check-up?
It was about 2 weeks after my 26 birthday when I found out I had breast cancer in 2018. I had found a small lump in my breast 2 years prior, and when I went to the doctor they told me it was benign and just a fibroadenoma (growth of excessive tissue, non-cancerous). However, over the next year and a half it continued to grow almost tripling in size, and after I noticed the skin around it starting to dimple, I knew I had to get it checked out again. It was after an ultrasound and biopsy when I found out the lump had become cancerous and was actually much larger beneath the breast tissue. So I had to start treatment almost immediately.
“Home is the people that make you feel at home- safe, loved, supported, and protected.”
What has helped you the most during that time to stay strong?
Above everything else, I’d have to say my immediate family and friends who were so supportive in every way imaginable– from taking me out to get my mind off things to my brother and dad who watched over me like hawks to make sure I was eating extra healthy! I’ve always believed in mind over matter, especially with something like cancer, which most people think is a death sentence. So from the beginning, I was determined to keep a positive mindset. I never wanted to think of myself as sick or defeated, so I just told myself my body was fighting against something and I needed to do all I could to take care of it and get better. And meditation and yoga helped me do that by training my mind and body to heal itself from the inside out.
And how did you deal with the weak and difficult moments?
I don’t know if you can call it dealing with, but anything negative or stressful that came my way I just had to shut down or block out, especially during treatment. I felt that my body was already under a lot of stress that it didn’t make sense to add anymore that was unnecessary. Getting diagnosed with a serious disease like this reminds you of your mortality, and there’s no better way to put things into perspective than that. Any problems, financial, emotional, or relationships, seemed so trivial in light of what I was dealing with. I don’t think it’s any coincidence that the drama around me soon faded once I stopped paying attention to it. That is a lifelong lesson I will carry with me forever.
“…my body is so much more than just something meant to be pretty or sexy. My body is a symbol of strength and resilience. It´s ever-changing and always repairing and rebuilding and I wear it so proudly now.”
You look very confident and at ease with your body on the images. Has the „relationship“ to your body changed because of the illness?
Absolutely! For me, my relationship to my body has shifted from the physical to the metaphysical. As a model that is only 5’7 and not a size 0, looking back I realized how insecure I was because of those things. Constantly being surrounded by beautiful women at castings and now on social media, it was almost impossible not to compare and criticize myself. Either I wasn’t tall enough or skinny enough or didn’t like my lips or nose. But after going through chemo and losing my hair- and I mean all of it, my eyelashes and eyebrows, etc- it made me appreciate what I have now. I went over half a year not having hair, and all I could think about then was how much I had taken for granted before. Seeing how strong and resilient my body was during treatment made me feel guilty to have judged it based on the physical. I’ve come to realize that my body is so much more than just something meant to be pretty or sexy. To me now, my body is a symbol of strength and resilience. It´s ever-changing and always repairing and rebuilding. It is a projection of everything inside me, and I wear it so proudly now. Of course, it’s a work in progress….like me.
And also has your approach to life changed and in what way?
In some ways yes and in some ways no. I wasn’t jumping out of any planes or making a bucket list lol But in small ways, I think a lot about me changed and so did my outlook on life. For a while, I think I was stuck in a comfort zone with relationships and work. I was content, but I wasn’t taking full advantage of my potential and I found myself settling. I was comfortable. But there’s nothing like hearing the words “you have cancer” to really make you think about what you’ve been doing with your life and what you want to do with it going forward. I believe me being diagnosed happened for a reason, and that reason was for me to take my life more seriously. I had to learn to let go of things gracefully, including people, and in that way, ironically enough, cancer saved me. It brought me closer to myself, and it gave me courage to do things I probably would not have done otherwise. It also made me realize that life is short and there were still a lot of things I wanted to do like travel and start a business. So since last year, I started an online fashion brand and have been building it. I have since also travelled to Europe, including a lifelong dream of going to Paris. And most importantly, I’ve come to profoundly appreciate the little things in life from hanging out with friends and my cats to my health. And to never take those things for granted as I have in the past. I’m still learning the delicate balance between work and pleasure.
“I believe me being diagnosed happened for a reason, and that reason was for me to take my life more seriously…”
When did you initially start modelling and was it something you really wanted or it just happened?
I think it was a combination of both. I started modeling in 2014, shortly after I graduated from UCLA. It’s something I always admired from afar while going through my mom’s Vogue magazines and growing up in the 90s I was in love with Cindy Crawford. But minus a few people casually telling me I should get into modeling, I never thought I could do it professionally. By the end of college, I realized I didn’t want a regular 9-5 job or to work for someone else and I became increasingly intrigued with the entertainment industry. By chance, the person I was dating at the time was a producer and asked me to be the lead in a beauty spec for Olay. I think it was after that project that I realized this is what I wanted to do for a living. I wanted to feel that same excitement every time I went to work getting to meet new people and seeing different environments and sets. It’s not always easy, but if I could go back I would not change the decision I made.
“Beauty starts when you stop focusing on the outside, and instead making your intentions and your thoughts beautiful.”
Beauty means…?
Being authentic and confident. Especially these days people try so hard to look perfect on social media and portray themselves differently. But I think true beauty lies in those who are comfortable in their own skin, however it may look. Effortless beauty has always been my motto. Beauty starts when you stop focusing on the outside, and instead focus on making yourself beautiful from within and making your intentions and your thoughts beautiful. All of that radiates to the outside.
What means „home“ to you – where or with whom do you feel most at home?
Ah, my answer to this question probably would have been much different had you asked 2 months ago before I travelled across the globe. I was born and raised in LA, and always thought I would want to live in France as soon as I got there. But having been, and only for 2 weeks, I missed home like crazy. I missed my 3 cats, my brother, my best friend, and my family. Although I was in this dream place, it just wasn’t the same without them. So for me…home is the people that make you feel at home- safe, loved, supported, and protected. So maybe I’ll just take all of them to France with me (laughs)
Happiness is…
Being healthy, financially stable, and surrounded by like-minded, loving, and supportive people. And also, happiness is laying in a bubble bath with a glass of wine…and maybe in Paris!
Your advice to your younger self…
You don’t have to have it all figured out. Take more risks and try new things all the time. Don’t focus on the wrong things and don’t get attached to things or people so easily. You could lose what you have so make sure you don’t take any of it for granted.
Photographer: Thomas R. Wood
@Thomasrwood – www.thomasrwood.com
Model: Desiree Yuzon – @desiicat –
Agency: M Model Management
@mmodelmanagement @mydeardesire
