“An artist´s life.” The stories of the people behind the art #25 Georgia Small

Georgia Small is the founder of Gee Small Faces —a boutique modeling agency known for its unique, boundary-pushing talent—and an actor, writer, director, and producer. She wrote, produced, directed, and acted in her first short film, BABY. “As a corollary to this, my short film is about grief; based over the course of one house party. It is based on a true story. I cast 35 extras myself through my agency – as well as pulling together the entire team, with zero experience in film besides my own acting career. I am mostly trying to get my voice out there as a female creative making something out of nothing.”

Photography by Akytom

“I’m so full of rage and darkness. (Not in a hot way).

Trying to become an actor is nothing like I dreamt of when I was at school in Singapore. I was thinking like huge audiences, even bigger skirts, a family of friends, creating art, sharing ideas…and instead, after years and years of training (rolling around in other people’s sweat, pretending to be an egg, singing when you can’t sing, sword fighting etc) I find myself alone. In a bedroom. Mostly on the floor.

At university I remember sitting in my attic bedroom, at the top of a 7 bed share house filled with girls, the only opening to the world a small square sky light over my bed. At times the sun would climb through there and I’d imagine what it would be like to create worlds from my bedroom. I was studying literature at the time and was mostly jealous of the Bloomsbury Group. I liked the idea that a group of friends could fuck and talk art and call themselves by a name that would end up with their own Wikipedia page. I don’t think anything us girls talked about in that house should ever be allowed on any sort of page.

Yet somehow, in a weird non-linear way (like most things), and without any real plan, I have ended up creating worlds from my bedroom. I have always tried, and am still trying to turn my rage into things so that I don’t explode.

It’s been 4 years now since I accidentally started Gee Small Faces; a boutique modelling agency home to some 65 models that pushes the boundaries of the industry. What started out as me alone in my bedroom, now has (thankfully) an assistant. Working with Mercy has made me realise more than ever I have no idea what I am doing and yet I am still doing it.

“I forced myself to do things, always. I failed loads of times by the way… Every rejection from the acting industry… for all my unmet dreams – I made my own.”

Forever a student of words and philosophy, I never imagined myself a business woman nor an entrepreneur. I honestly never imagined myself as an artist, I always felt I hadn’t suffered enough to claim this title but the older I get the more I know this self flagellation (good word, very biblical) is helpful to no one. I am an artist, and mothering 65 models is just another extension of my creative mind. The business itself has allowed me great freedoms – enough to financially support myself and still have the time to act, write, paint and travel. Not as much as I would like, but certainly more than if I had someone else as my boss. I still have gone through periods where I wake up at 7 and close my screen at 7; a full 12 hours alone with my laptop 5 or 6 days a week is not what any artist imagines for themself. When I am feeling loud I long for rehearsal spaces, and when I am quiet I long for my canvases.

It’s also been 4 years since I entered the acting industry professionally (This is not a drill. That’s 444). 4 years since I started looking for an agent, and 4 years of getting rejected and ghosted by basically everyone you can think of. The gut wrenching rejections from projects you thought you we’re perfect for, combined with years of getting 1 line auditions for ‘the receptionist’ or ‘nail technician’ sent me into rage and darkness unparalleled. When hard work and thousands of pounds on honing your craft are met with brutal disappointment you get depression dinner. And when you get depression, you get stuck. And so I was for 2 years. Stuck in a dark hole of my own disappointments. If one more person tells me I have to ‘make my own work’ I will hit someone. I had been writing projects for over 5 years, always starting and never finishing. Always answering back with ‘I’m trying?????’. Forever shutting myself down, telling myself my voice wasn’t important and no one cares. And then one evening I was watching a short film by Larry Clark ‘A day in the life’. I got ready for bed and was suddenly overwhelmed by how a story basically about nothing had made me feel something. I was like hold up I can do that. And so the next day I literally just… did.

“Literally no one cares if you don’t. People either will or won’t if you do, so you might as well do.”

It has now been 4 months since I started to produce my first ever short film; ‘Baby’. I woke up the next day and made some notes in my notes app on how to flesh out a scene about a bathtub I had written 2 years prior. I then posted on instagram saying ‘I wrote something who wants to help me make it’. And for some reason, people did. It was the best feeling ever. Finally after doing everything alone, I was building a team. Collaborating. Drawing. Thinking of ideas, talking them through. Everything I had wanted acting to be, but it wasn’t was, finally coming to fruition.

‘Baby’ is project I wrote, produced, directed and starred in. You could say that ‘Baby’ is my baby and you would be correct. You could also say that that is too many roles for one person to undertake and you would also be correct.

You could ALSO say that Baby would not have existed without Gee Small Faces; the confidence I have gained from running a business from my bedroom allowed me the balls to pull together a team to make a film. I was also able to use my talent as extras, and have access to incredible styling and make up. The worlds I invented in my bedrooms were coming together and finally starting to make sense. I suddenly realised that all the partying I had done in my twenties, all the people I had met in toilets and dance floors now made sense.

From building my agency I had learnt that even if I knew nothing about business, I knew everything about people. I learnt that people are ones doing the business; it was more about relationships than about being technically good at whatever business even is.

This then bled into my filmmaking – again realising I had absolutely zero experience in writing, producing or directing and yet somehow I was to pull together an incredible team of professionals and get funding. Everyone had more experience than me, and so I relinquished much control over to them. Learning as I went.

It takes enormous courage to think of an idea in your bedroom and then even bigger balls to present this idea to the world and force people to help you make it. I have spent so long not being proud of myself for my achievements, making myself as small as possible to ensure everyone likes me but I’m bored of it now. So yeah, it took courage and balls and I am proud of myself. How very not English of me.

I guess this is all to say; do the thing.

Literally no one cares if you don’t.

People either will or won’t if you do, so you might as well do.

I forced myself to do things, always. I failed loads of time by the way. I’ve sent emails that would make you turn in your grave. Got things so wrong. Used the wrong tactic. Been rejected week after week, month after month.

Every rejection from the acting industry, for every time I cried alone in my room, for every audition I didn’t get and for all my unmet dreams – I made my own.

I made stuff. From nothing. A big pile of nothing turned into something because I made it happen.

So now I run my own business, and I made my own film.

What can you do?” written by Georgia Small